Chit-Chat No.2 - First test of Mummy being alone

Hah! Where should I begin?

I went to Jakarta on 12 April - 13 April. Then to Perth from Jakarta from 13 - 15 April. Was supposed to be back home in Singapore on Monday 16 April (via Jakarta). It was a business trip and I had to stay back on 16 April and back on 17 April instead. Told the Missus and she was unhappy.

Actually we have an important meeting in Jakarta on 16 April evening so we left Perth early in the morning at around 4am to catch a flight which transits at Denpasar, Bali. In short, we reached Jakarta at noon in time for the important meeting. During the meeting, it was transpired that the party is keen to progress the discussion and wants to meet us the next day at 7pm, hence I couldn't go back on Tuesday evening. So I can only go back on Wednesday. Well, the Missus was terribly unhappy and upset! Very unhappy and refused to answer my call. So I had to sacrifice my sleep to catch a 6.30am flight back to Singapore on Wednesday (I think I woke up at around 4am). I supposed it's good training for the near future, in case the baby likes to wake up early in the morning for milk!

Fifth visit to the gynae - 11 APRIL 2007

The 11 April was my fifth visit to the gynae. It's supposed to be the usual Friday (13 April) but because I have to travel the next day, I've decided to bring it forward.

This time, Dr Chew gave us a 3D scan of the baby. It's growing up fast!

This was an interesting visit because Dr Chew told us that the baby is active and healthy, though a little bit skinny. Hehehe, the Missus became very worried and guilty. Ever since that visit, she is eating Cheese and Milk! Hahaha.

Also, we got back the radiograph film from the other time. The report says that the baby is normal and corresponds to the age of 13 weeks & 5 days! Therefore the expected birthday is now adjusted to early October 2007, instead of earlier projected end September.

In summary, another uneventful visit.

Dr Chew only told us that in the next visit which is then the 5th month and the 2nd Trimester, we would discuss about the test (which I think it's called the Triple Test). There is essentially the first test which is necessary (can't remember the name) and a second one which is optional; optional because it is to test for down syndrome. Since Dr Chew is a Catholic (I am too) and does not practice abortion, I guess he might share the same view as me - if we are not going to abort this child for whatever imperfection he/she might have, why bother to do the second test?


To me, I really think abortion is MURDER. It is murder of the worst degree because it is the only form of murder which is not criminalised. Whatever you have to say, ABORTION is MURDER. Most people are selfish, saying that if the child is abnormal, it's a burden to raise the child. Well, where is your faith? If you believe in God and have faith that God gives us whatever is best, well, I am pretty sure God will ensure that you can carry this burden. Anyway, I just found out that my Malay-Moslem neighbour's toddler has Down Syndrome. I didn't realise that although I find it peculiar that the little girl is always muttering something I cannot understand. In a way, I really admire the Moslems who tended to have submissive faith to God.

Fourth visit to the gynae - 23 MARCH 2007

At Dr Chew's clinic again. Nothing special, as usual, he is pleased with the progressed. But today is was supposed to be the end of 3rd trimester visit which requires Jaime to go for an "Obstetrics Ultrasound". This test is to measure the neck thickness of the Baby - a routine test to ensure that the baby does not have down syndrome.

It was carried out at the Gleneagles Hospital radiology department. A Filipino technician administered it and she had a hard time getting the images because Baby was sleeping in a position which is shy from the ultrascan handheld device.

So the technician had to ask the Missus to 'cough' so that the Baby is 'interrupted' from the sleep. Instead, after each cough, Baby woked up but immediately switch position for a comfortable nap. So this happened for many times, till the Missus's cough sounded rather funny (like squeezing the neck of a chicken!) because she was in lying down position and having to force cough out of her chest. Finally after more than 1 hour, the technician was able to capture all the necessary images. From the neck measurement, it appears normal.


This time, the image is huge piece of radiograph sheet (shown below), not the small polaroid size shot. (By the way, we only got the radiograph sheet back in our subsequent April visit to Dr Chew).

Third visit to the gynae - 2 MARCH 2007

It's the third visit, as usual on Friday again at 8.45am.







Nothing eventful; it's a baby I guess and we both agree. Dr Chew pretty pleased also. Not much problem unlike other people I guess. Only seen him for less than 15 mins. Get the usual vitamins. Nothing much as usual but as usual, after Gleneagles Hospital we went to Tanglin Mall. Enough of McDonald's breakfast for now.

First Trimester- starting circa January 2007

Officially it's the first trimester, each comprising of 3 months for the record.

Nothing eventful which is actually very good as I have been told by many friends. However the Missus is hoping for Morning Sickness!!! Reason being she said it's odd how come she is not sick or ill. I was speechless.

She is waking up earlier than usual though; like 4am in the morning or so. Maybe the baby is a morning person unlike me! he he he

She is eating very well but appetite is now reduced to small portion but multiple meals (breakfast, lunch, afternoon snacks, dinner, supper) but not in any consistent pattern. The point really is her eating portions are reduced but need more meals to satisfy the body, which is fine.

Still insisting on no milk and cheese. But she is drinking the chocolate flavoured milk, which in my opinion is not good.

Ok, in summary for now: No morning sickness. No puking, no headache, no heartburn, no nauseating effect; eating is fine - no dislikes or likes.

Chit-chat no.1 - annoying stupid people!!!!

It recently came to my attention that my Missus's friend who met her recently in December 2006, when talking about having children, passed her a business card saying 'you might need this'. As usual, my innocent Missus took it and brought it back. The card actually says something like 'specialist in infertility... Dr xxx gynae bla bla'.... can't really remember because it still make my blood boil recalling it.






That is a STUPID, INSENSITIVE, MEAN, IDIOTIC and STUPID thing to do!!!!!!!!

1. The Missus is 30, not that she is 35 - 40 years old, not being able to conceive
2. What the heck do you mean by "you might need this"?
3. Are you implying that I am not fertile and cannot father a child?
4. No one ever told you that we cannot conceive, why are you presuming??
5. Even if we have problems, we know doctors around, why need your recommendations?
6. Who the hell ask you to make recommendations?
7. The Missus is healthy and do not have any health problem since birth!
8. Well, even if your friend tells you that he/she is dying, you don't give him/her the name card for coffin dealers and the undertakers, stupid!
9. This 'friend' haven't got any child herself

Understand why I am so mad??

Second visit to the gynae - 9 FEBRUARY 2007

Jaime was anxious for days wondering 'why no heartbeat??'. My mum's theory was that:

Ah, don't be worry... because can't detect the hearbeat because Jaime probably got some fat on her tummy'.

Fact no.1 - it's ultrasound so I don't know fat can insulate the ultrasound scan

Fact no.2 - she doesn't really have that much fat on her tummy

So on 9 February, we reached Dr Chew's clinic at 8.45am. I think we were ushered into the room at around 9.20am:

So, I can't remember in actual words but Dr Chew said something like 'ah, that's the baby and heartbeat....No, need not to be worried, sometimes the heartbeat cannot be detected during the first visit...'

So it was a relieve!

Next, Dr Chew became an ad-hoc nutrionist and dietician. So he said he will give vitamins (Folic acid, calcium, fish oil soft-gel tablet) - said eat less salty stuff, fried stuff etc.

And of course, MILK. Hahaha, the Missus hate milk.

I said no, must drink more milk.

She said no.

I said yes, drink plenty of milk; I will buy a cow:

So I am going to rest the issue about milk for the time being. I like milk! I mean real fresh milk, especially full cream milk.

Dr Chew cleared us to travel to Kuching, Malaysia for the Chinese New Year holidays.

So, we are seeing Dr Chew again in 3 weeks' time.

First visit to the gynae - 30 JANUARY 2007

I first emailed our doctor on 22 Jan 2007 which he replied that same day too:

"DEar Steve, congratulations! can you give me a calltmr at my clinic tel 64796112 or shall I give you acall to arrange for the first visit?"

Perhaps he is a very busy man and perhaps he was halfway administering a patient whilst responding, hence the typos? Nah, just kidding. He has no computer in his office. Hey, doctors are well known for their inlegible handwriting, perhaps also inlegible typing?? Haha just kidding, don't be mad at me.

Okay, his name is Dr Peter Chew of "Peter Chew Clinic for Women", Gleneagles Medical Centre. In fact he is both an MBBS (Meaning "Doctor") and also has a PhD (also "Doctor"). A long list of credentials which you can read from his site http://www.peterchewgynae.com/. Apart from his contribution to the society (like a columnist and lecturing at National University of Singapore), most importantly he is a very spiritual person too. He is the Chairman of a charitable organisation called "Alife" (http://www.alife.org.sg/) which promotes fertility and pregnancy. In short he is a super guy. He is a also a good Catholic.

How I get to know Dr Chew is because he is a Knight of the Sovereign Military Order of Malta (SMOM) and I also happen to be involved with. The SMOM is a thousand year of Catholic order dedicated to serving the church, poor and society. There are few doctors within the Order but there is only only one gynae. Although there are numerous gynaes in Singapore, my wife and I prayed about it and decided that we are going to Dr Chew.

The first meeting was 30 Jan 2007. 8.45am appointment. Dr Chew asked a couple of standard questions then off to the bed for scanning. Okay, we saw the errr... embryo.. It's really tiny though because it is a cell. How the remarkable thing is the Dr told us he should be able to detect some heartbeat but he couldn't. It's quite common though (something like 70% couldn't detect at this early stage) but perhaps we might have given him the wrong date about the Last Menstruation date. As such, we have to come back for the second time in 10 days' time.

Well what do you think, of course the Missus was very anxious but that's good at least she is a concerned mother. But this baby really like to make us do things twice, remember about the test kit also?

The Mother of all Results - 20 JANUARY 2007

A picture explains a thousand words.
I am not too good with rejection you know but it was a good lesson for me; I certainly cannot play GOD. Yes, I can fight in business and at work but not about procreation. So after November's failure, we waited anxiously for the day the "Baker" comes but he didn't turn up.
So around 19 Jan 2007, I thought we try lar. I had to lecture that evening and by the time I finished, the nearest pharmacy was closed so we have to wait till the next day.
Next day (20th Jan 07), went to the nearest pharmacy. Bladdy fish, it cost S$ 17.50 for a single test!! Isn't the Singapore Government trying to promote childbirth, what the eel the test kit is soo expensive? But I thought I don't want my kind to be resentful towards me next time:
"At first, Daddy didn't want to test you out because he thought the kit is expensive and told mummy better wait till next week, more accurate....."
That phrase went through my head. Imagine my wife or someone telling my kid during his/her birthday party. Woa, the kid would hate me forever and I may have to bury myself when I die next time!
So I bought it reluctantly; reluctant because I swear we bought it once for just less than S$ 10 years ago (hah, that time when we tested, we didn't want a child yet .. that was years ago okay??!).
First test, above; not very clear but there was a vertical and horizontal line:
The instruction says that the vertical line need not be very dark. As long as there's a line, you got a baby! (see picture above, sorry my camera is not SLR. In real life it was darker).
We were uncertain so my wife said try again tomorrow. Next day, got another kit (For S$ 13 ++ hey, someone in the government should get these stuffs subsidised!). It was definite and certain. I didn't take a picture of it though because it's affirmative already. So it took two tests. I will tell you more story about "TWO" times.
So my wife is officially pregnant.
`

In the beginning

There's always a starting point so let's just say that you have to make babies in order to get one. My wife and I have been married for 5 years in 2001. We always thought that couples should enjoy their freedom first but this often goes overboard. By then, my wife is complaining that she is hitting 30 and her 'biological clock' is ticking. We always love kids including myself and as I've said, time extension always get over-extended (no different than in hotel or your credit card bill!). Anyway to cut a long story short, we made that decision and the next course of action is to MAKE IT!
Okay, I risk getting stoned but there's plenty of truth for me to say that planned pregnancy and family planning to some extent is quite scientific, calculated, doctrinated or mechanical, your preference of words depending on your profession! In other words, there can be no accident. It's simply idiotic to say that a pregnancy is accidental and as far as I can say, only those unwed youngsters used such excuse; why not? Are you supposed they are going to tell their parents that they had sex like rabbits, perhaps twice a day x 30 days?? Of course not so they said "We did it only once!". Okay, that's not the point.
Thanks to technology, we used a software called "FEMTA" which plots the calender for you and make recommendation which can be quite accurate if the datas were plotted properly. We started plotting ours only in September 2006 'for future usage' that's what I said. First try in November 2006 but missed the target and the "Baker" came. Typical of me, I held an inquiry and post-mortem; found out, hah, in short, the software 'auto adjusted' the dates upsetting the whole set up (it's a long story but if you are planning to use FEMTA, drop me an email for tips). I fixed up the program and December 2006 came for another try.